Update day 8

Well, we’re starting to see a pattern.

Yesterday was a really good day, in our opinion. And today was definitely on the difficult side. That’s typically how our life with Ruthie has been since we met her.

The first day we met, it was pretty good. Next day she wouldn’t even get close to us. Third day I held her for almost 2 hours. Pick up day she slept most of the time, but the days since have been alternately incredibly challenging and wonderfully encouraging.

Such an emotional roller coaster we are on- it is so draining. This adoption is without a doubt the hardest thing we have ever done, and we’re still an undetermined amount of time from getting to go home. But when I think about that, I get so depressed. Just have to take it one day at a time.

So, good things about today: Ruthie ate considerably less, which is so good. She and Allen have been inseparable all afternoon almost (as long as Shane is out of sight), and they ran about 20 minutes straight, so SURELY they will both sleep well tonight!

Today’s challenges mostly manifested themselves in the morning, particularly when Ruth woke up at 5 and didn’t go back to sleep for 2 hours. Also, nap time is proving to be our biggest source of tension- as Ruthie refuses to go to sleep even while being held for a while.

Also, I am at the mercy of Ruth’s needs all day long, and Shane and I rarely even get time to ourselves after the kids go to bed because either one will wake up crying or needing something, or I’m too spent to stay up past my shower. I miss my husband, even though we’re “together.” This adoption is taking its toll on us individually as well as our marriage. Please pray that we will remain strong for each other. He’s truly been my rock through this whole ordeal, I don’t even want to think about what this would be without him.

Speaking of the men in my life, Allen has been such a trooper for this entire process. He’s started to exhibit some jealous moments, and understandably so. I didn’t realize my heart would be so torn when Ruth is having one of her frequent insecure moments and Allen asks me to hold him. Let’s just add that to the ever growing prayer list- that Allen would continue to be amazing and that he would somehow supernaturally know that I’m still here for him, but right now Ruthie needs me more.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, THANK YOU for praying for us. We desperately need your prayers every minute of every day, and we are incredibly humbled to have so many promising to do just that every chance they get.

I know most (probably all) of my videos and pictures are of the happy times, but that’s because those are the pearls of joy in a gravel driveway- it’s not so fun to have a visual reminder of the hardships, and those are far outweighing the joys in these early stages.

We love you all- and are indebted to your support.

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