Man, I’m so nervous.
I know I shouldn’t be- my mom keeps telling me not to stress but I’m filled with butterflies. We will get to video call with C this evening (9 am April 22 for her!)!!!
This is a pretty unique experience to adoption- the first time we will get to interact in real time with our daughter is through a video call (praise the Lord for technology!). We were also very fortunate to be able to video chat with Ruth a few times, too! It’s an experience that we truly appreciate and do not take for granted.
But I’m feeling all the pressure: I want us to make a good first impression. I mean, C is old enough to understand some of what’s transpiring- and regardless of how smoothly this process is, she’s still going to be overwhelmed and scared. I just want her first interaction with us to make her happy- maybe cause her to be curious about her new family, wanting to know and see more of us, even.
And I want to use what little time we will have to the utmost advantage: I want to know SO many things and make the absolute most of our one and only video call. I want to know everything about her and hear all she has to say! Of course, we won’t have that kind of time. I want her to be happy to talk about things, anything, really- I want her to laugh at her siblings when the say or do something ridiculous- because I know that will happen! I want her to feel so good after talking with us!
But, I’ve been here before, and I’m tempering my expectations. Most of all, I just want her to know she’s loved and wanted, but that won’t happen on a video call. Or through gifts or experiences. Or even our promises of love and forever family. C knowing that she is loved and wanted is going to be a process, a long one, that will span her whole lifetime. And it will be rocky, imperfect, and winding.. but I’m so ready to start that journey with her as her mother.
We are still expecting to travel in May, if all goes well. We won’t be surprised if that’s pushed back a bit, but we’re hoping it isn’t. We are SO CLOSE to traveling, it’s hard to believe! We started this process in August of 2018… and during the pandemic that shook the world we’re looking to bring home our littlest girl. God is good!
Of course, I’ll be updating after our video call with another blog post! But for now, I’m going to keep practicing “hello” and “I love you so much” in Cantonese!